Santa: I now realize that last year’s request for a place in the Celtic’s starting lineup may have been over-reaching a bit ( in fact, they never even called ), so I’ve scaled things back a bit this year. Here goes:
-I would really like Congress and the President to get along. Okay, okay, I’m pulling your leg – made you look! Compared to that, everything I really want is a piece of cake.
-I want this Cuba thing to work out. I know the Castro’s are a couple of silly politicians masquerading as regular Joe’s, but the people of Cuba don’t deserve the brunt of a cruel policy that isn’t getting anybody anything good. For one thing, it sure hasn’t worked. For another, since the Soviets bugged out in 1991, how much of a threat have they posed to us? For the record, I don’t smoke cigars or drink rum, so basically my interest in this matter is limited to assuaging the guilt I get watching a bully (us) hold a grudge against the little guy ( them) for reasons I can’t actually remember. If my Dad can forgive the Dodgers for leaving Brooklyn, I say we can forgive the Cubans for whatever a bunch of ex-Cuban geezers in Miami think they did. Also, Santa, can I please have the first MacDonald’s franchise in Havana?
-I want to see The Interview. I had no intention of seeing the movie before last week, as I tend to avoid movies where the butt jokes outnumber the gunshots. But I don’t like anybody telling me what I can and can’t watch, especially some flea-bitten-third-world-fascist–run-by-a-little-fat-boy Empire. If it ever comes to the local movie house, I’m in.
-I want to get a grip on this Police-as-the-Enemy thing. For one thing, they’re not. Secondly, if everybody thinks we’re going to start putting police in jail for errors in judgment, we’re going to have a small problem getting the kind of people we admire to apply for police jobs. Yes, we need better training for police ( and for just about any job that consists of 90% boredom and 10% stress ), and yes, no one is above the law, including , and especially, the police. But if we believe that police arrest, hassle, and assault black people in a ratio outside what the population would suggest, why do we think that this racism is limited to police? In 1969 I spent four months as the only white student in a black college in South Carolina, and trust me, we are all racist in many ways. Job one is admitting that. While we deal with that and all that follows it, we need the police to protect us all, and putting them in fear of losing their freedom isn’t going to make them do their job any better.
-I want to see Brady play another Super Bowl. For openers, as the clock ticks down in every championship game, you gotta love the look on Belichek’s face – he always looks like he’s trying to remember where he left his car keys – meanwhile the other coach looks like he’s trying to defuse a nuclear warhead. For sheer cool, you can’t beat the Pats. Just one more, Santa, please.
In closing, I would like to say that I think this whole nice/naughty thing is unfair and exclusionary. Unless you think I’m nice, in which case, congratulations on your superior judgment of character. Happy New Year too! The Weary Pilgrim