Weary Pilgrim – Hunkered Down

So here we are, at the end of what seems like the coldest, cruelest summer since the mastodons froze en masse in August of 30,000,000 BC. I mean, when you get all the A/C units functioning properly, and then you find yourself turning the heat on, you really gotta ask yourself about this whole climate change hoax thingy ….( was it Russia or China? I can’t get that one straight).

Meanwhile, we have these two total whack-jobs hurling insults at each other, like toddlers with spitballs, except they have nuke warheads in them. So just when you think all is lost, you remember the Founding Fathers, who apparently said to each other,” You know what? Just in case, some day, our voting brothers (remember, back then, only men got the vote, like that would make everything thing OK ), should decide to elect a completely narcissist super-salesman as president, a man who has absolutely zero clue about anything diplomatic or rational, but somehow manages to sell the voters on himself, well then in that case the other two branches of government, ( meaning congress and the Supreme Court ) will intervene to make sure this Psycho can’t actually screw everything up. “ So far, at least this separation of powers thing is working…please, don’t anybody move suddenly – it’s a delicate balance.

Of course, the Founding Fathers had yet to hear about Gerrymandering, so they had no warning about the possibility of partisan grid-lock, but they had indeed guaranteed the freedom of the press ( Amendment #1), so somehow the ship of state is still sailing on, although it does seem to be sailing in circles, the rudder being jammed a bit by that whole partisan ‘Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah’ thing……

So here we are, not even a year after the election: on one hand, we have the North Korean head of state - a guy who doesn’t just shoot his opponents, he actually lashes them to an anti-aircraft gun, and ATOMIZES them…. And that was his uncle! (for the record, I really like my uncle, but if I didn’t , I think a hot-foot might be the order of the day).

And on the other side: we have the Leader of the Free World, who issues repeated statements threatening North Korea with “Fire and Fury, the likes of which we have never seen before” (a fave phrase of his)….this issued from the front porch of a GOLF CLUB! What ever happened to leaders broadcasting words of war-like reassurances from bunkers deep below London, or at the least from the Oval Office during these times of nuclear crisis? A GOLF CLUB? Imagine Jack Kennedy dealing with the Cuban Missile crisis halfway through the Halifax race…..

Not to worry: the rest of the world is pretty nuts , too…..lets see: Venezuela, a place where they ran out of toilet paper about a year ago, has decided to adopt a new constitution, the better to prevent anyone with ideas of democracy from holding meaningful elections……Kenya, formerly a place of relative peace in Africa, has truly no idea who won the last election, if only because apparently everybody who ran did…..our continent is breaking new records for heat in several regions (none of them where we happen to live)….our Congress, unable to address Health Care, Tax Reform, Infrastructure, Climate Change (still a hoax!), or even Daylight Savings Time/Standard Time (which one are we on now, I forget?), has wisely decided to go on break, where presumably they can work on their golf game while they hide from their constituents…..

You want a sign of the collapsing world order? As I write this, the Sox are ahead by several games – AFTER the All-Star break! I’m at the point where I’m praying for a return to normalcy…if Our Boys From Fenway can melt away in the September twilight, I will know that we are once again on a steady track, and the Checks and Balances system our Founding Fathers set forth will truly restore order to the chaos of our universe……..only then can we once again breathe easy, looking forward to the lights and decorations of Christmas that will no doubt appear in our stores sometime around the beginning of October…….ah, the return of Sweet Reason!